I did not have a baby shower for baby MMD. He was born prematurely at 28 weeks and I struggled to put more items on my plate other than pumping, hospital visits and work. A friend and I actually have pinned down a date, but I went into labor before we got the chance to send the invite. My friend insisted that I should still have a shower, but I was reluctant to have it in the first place, even before baby MMD’s birth.
I don’t like the attention that a baby shower brings. Similarly, I didn’t have the usual bachelorette party, because of this reason. I like the idea of being with friends and celebrating each other’s milestones. I just don’t like the hassle of planning it and expecting everyone to provide gifts for me. Since the birth of baby MMD was so traumatic, I also had a hard time celebrating at the time. I feel that I will spend my time masking the fear and anxiety that I have while baby MMD is in the NICU.
Free items from our neighbor
We were lucky to receive majority of the free items from our local buy nothing group. This includes a crib, crib mattress, sheets and blanket. Our neighbor is so nice that they even deliver the crib since it didn’t fit in our sedan. The crib is a solid wood and was used by her 2 boys. When I search for the instruction online, I was surprise to see that this crib cost $400. We also received an infant car seat with a couple of bases and caddy from our neighbor. She also had 2 boys and the car seat still has a couple more years life on it. This saves us another $300. We also received a changing table, activity play mat, anywhere chair, nursery mobile, moby wrap, bath tub and more. I’m very thankful for the generosity of our neighbor. These items will go back to this group once baby MMD outgrew it.
My old furniture and gifts
My old dresser from my parent’s house were delivered for the baby’s nursery. For his clothing, I found a lot of clothes for $50, that my sister picked up and gladly paid for. We also receive 20 bum genius cloth diaper to start our cloth diapering journey. I also receive a nursing pillow from a friend. My in-laws got us a carrier.
Things we bought and a discount on baby registry
I signed up for a baby registry at Amazon. I filled this out through out my pregnancy but never made it public. I had a hard time filling it out since I’m unsure of the items needed. I basically put everything that the nurse is using in the NICU. This includes the bottles, shampoos, diapers and diaper cream. I found out that I get a 15 percent discount, on one order from this registry. I made one order for everything on my list including the stroller, which gives about $200 savings and $100 worth of diaper items. I highly recommend signing up for Amazon Baby Registry. They have everything and I receive my items in 2 days since I’m a prime member.
The lack of baby shower cost us about $1500. The biggest expense is the semi high end stroller followed by a high end swing that baby MMD used in NICU. The stroller and the swing alone, is about $1000. These are the splurge items we bought because we didn’t have the time to look for it in the use market. The rest are for feeding, baths and diapers.
Items I don’t need
I actually ended up buying more items that I needed. The discount is good for one order so I just bought everything on the registry once. The good news, Since I bought it from my registry, I can return the items in a longer return window. For example, I found out that I don’t really need all the level of nipples from the bottle since I plan on nursing baby MMD. A level 1 is enough for his bottle intake once a day and after I return to work. I also don’t need a lot of bottles and sheets. I returned items worth more than $200. Did I say that I highly recommend signing up for Amazon Baby Registry..
There are also some items I bought that was not useful, which I can’t return. For example, I bought a rocker and a bassinet stand. I found that I actually like the bassinet in the stroller while baby MMD is taking naps. I bought a changing pad which we hardly use. I probably spent $200+ worth of useless items.
Overall, I’m glad that I didn’t have a baby shower. Baby shower also cost some money and I’m glad I just ended up purchasing the items we needed (or thought I needed).